


The Story in Your Eyes

by Pfain Ryder (Cat_Moon)



Category: Quantum Leap
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-12
Updated: 2019-07-12
Packaged: 2020-05-19 18:12:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19361992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cat_Moon/pseuds/Pfain%20Ryder
Summary: "Samuel Beckett--get over here!"The reason for the argument isn't as important as the result.





	1. The Story In Your Eyes

**Author's Note:**

> Note: I found a sequel to this story that I'd written, added it as a new chapter on 7/14/19.
> 
> The very first QL story I ever wrote, back in 1991, when Al started "speaking" to me and demanding I write the words down. Rated T for a few swear words.

"Samuel Beckett--get over here!" It was my best no-nonsense admiral tone, and he turned reluctantly, eyes wearing that stubborn expression I'd grown to love and hate so well. But he came back, as I knew he would.

"Don't stop me, Al," he warned.

"Since when have I ever been able to stop you from doing anything you'd made your mind up on?" Too late I realized the slight discrepancy in his wording. He should have said, don't _try_ to stop me. Was he intimating that I did have that power? Maybe I'd gained something over the years that I hadn't noticed; if so, I regretted my easy concession. Yet...

"I'm tired of playing mind games with you, Sam."

"But not of tap dancing around the issues? Gee, thanks, pal."

The caustic tone of his voice hurt more than I wanted to admit. This wasn't the best time for a confrontation, but I'd never had the privilege of a choice in that area. If I managed to get out of this one with Sam, I still had to face the committee. He wasn't planning to make that one easy, either.

"Look," I tried to disassemble, "let's discuss--"

Sam didn't let me finish. "Don't bother," he snapped, starting for the door again. He was determined to take on the hounds without listening to my carefully researched strategy, relying only on his anger--which would royally screw things up. They'd never been tolerant of Beckett temper tantrums.

"Now hold it right there, you selfish son of a bitch!" I gained his full attention. Now that there was no longer a need to keep secrets or weigh what I said, I felt the dam breaking and welcomed the purging. "Did you ever once wonder how I was performing all these miracles for you? Realize what it cost me? You're my best friend, do you think I liked manipulating you--even if it was for our own good? Christ!" My voice broke, and I didn't give a damn. "You exasperate me! Do you know what that means, or does you Swiss cheese memory still have a few holes?!" Ranting now too, I knew I'd never live this down. "Most of the time I can't decide whether I want to give you a big kiss, or a right cross! All I'm asking for is a little fairness here. You're not the only one who knows about personal sacrifice." I turned away then, abruptly disgusted with myself. I'd said too much.

He was quiet, and I wondered what was coming. With Sam, you're never quite sure. He can still surprise me after all these years, and enjoys doing so, though he doesn't know I know it. I grabbed a quick glance in his eyes for a clue, but they were unreadable to me. That always makes me nervous as hell. It means trouble.

A warm hand settled on my shoulder. "There's a big difference." He waited until I finally met his gaze before continuing. "I sacrificed for me, and because I had no choice. You did it all for me."

I looked into the open, caring face I'd remembered in a thousand dreams. My Sam, home. "You really think I had a choice either?"

"Love doesn't give us choices." For a scientist, he can be a true philosopher when he wants to be. I stared at him open-mouthed, as he went on. "You and I have been through more than any two people could go though together, and most of what's between us doesn't need to be said--we both know. When I was leaping, I couldn't let myself think about what was going on here, with you--you know all that even better than me. But every once in a while, I... I know if I live to be a hundred, I could never repay what you've done for me."

"And you know that I wouldn't want you to," I reminded him.

"We know each other too well, sometimes. But there's one thing I need you to hear, Al." He took both of my shoulders in a firm grip. "That I love you with all my heart."

Kid ought to have those eyes registered as deadly weapons. I fought the moisture I felt building up in my own. There have been times when I surrendered to tears willingly, regardless of his presence, but I wasn't sure this was one of them. He noticed, and smiled. That's when I knew I was in real trouble, and for once, Al Calavicci wasn't gonna be able to weasel himself out of it.

"Just don't tell anybody about this," I requested about my outbreak of emotion.

Sam's eyes twinkled as he handed me a tissue, the bastard. "Naw, I'll just file it away to use against you if necessary."

"You wouldn't--"

"I learned from the master." As I watched him move closer, his eyes changed again, and I saw something there that was much more dangerous for me than the 'sick puppy' eyes. I felt the intensity in them scorch my soul. "So, what's it gonna be Al, kiss or right cross?"

What do you think, folks?

 

 

the end

8/4/91

 

 


	2. The Times They Are a Changin'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was originally a sequel to "Story in Your Eyes" that I wrote a few years later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Published as a sequel story in the zine, "Let It Be Me #2". 1995.

 

 **SAM** :

 

I'll admit, I didn't know what kind of a reaction I was going to get, but I sure didn't think it would be so easy. I didn't have time to wonder about that at the moment though, because Al was in my arms, and all I wanted to do was show him how I felt. So what if I couldn't even remember how it happened? I guess we both had a lot of pent-up emotions to let loose. The sense of wonder built, as I gave myself to my feelings. Like I should have known all the long, after everything that's happened, who else is there? There isn't another person in the universe who knows all the Sam Becketts that I am and have been.

I'd locked myself away that whole afternoon, finally allowed the luxury of pondering my life and future. I made my decision, but what about Al? I know I wouldn't have had the courage to go through with this if I hadn't remembered the things he'd done for me, helping me, right or wrong. Crying with me when I hurt.

Who kissed who first, anyway? Okay, so I was the one who threw his casual statement back in his face. Big kiss or right cross? It was supposed to be a lead-in joke. So we could talk about our feelings. I guess neither one of us wanted to talk. Not when we could finally touch...

 

 **AL** :

 

When the loud knock came at the door, Sam and I both jumped a foot. There we were, several yards apart--at least it felt like yards--staring at each other and breathing hard.

"You're not a prude!" was the first thing that came to mind, so I said it. I had a feeling I was gonna find out how wrong I'd been, and love being wrong. If I had an ounce of sense I'd be scared shitless. He was moving closer again, and I saw this invisible line in the air between us. If he crossed it, we weren't gonna make it to any committee meeting. I took a step back.

"You'd better answer it, Sam." I watched him try to collect himself, not too well, at that. He took a deep breath and opened the door. It was Gooshie, reminding us that if we didn't hurry we'd be late for the meeting. And Weitzman had promised to personally come after us if we weren't there when he arrived. Sam thanked Gooshie, and closed the door.

We took to staring at each other again, until I started feeling like an ass, and grinned. The question 'where are we heading?' crossed my mind, but I decided to borrow what had been Sam's creed during the time he'd been leaping, and not let myself think beyond the moment. Whatever happened, happened.

_Que Sera, Sera, whatever will be, will be..._

Yes, it's a casual attitude, but a person doesn't live the life I've lived without having seen just about everything. Seen, being the operative word. It was Sam who taught me the meaning of life, a long time ago. Love. So I pushed him towards the door, actually looking forward to the meeting. For the first time in years, I didn't have to face those vampires alone.

"You've always had lousy timing," I complained as the door swung shut behind us.

 

 **BEEKS** :

 

Ten minutes after the first champagne cork was popped, the party was in full swing. It was impossible not to want to celebrate. Not only was Sam finally home, but the all-important committee meeting had been a success. Now that was unheard of in the history of PQL. I heard Al exclaim that "the bastards really _do_ have hearts." Sam muttered what sounded like "who'd you blackmail this time?" Gooshie joked that maybe Weitzman had the hots for Sam, and he turned five shades of red. Al laughed so hard he nearly choked on cigar smoke. Sam said something about CPR, but luckily it didn't come to that.

As much as I wanted to join in the festivities, I felt it my duty as the project psychologist to hang back and observe. Sam might be home, but in many ways the hard part had just begun. He seemed to be adjusting as well as could be expected, for the moment. Confused, overwhelmed, but happy. Although I felt he had a good grasp on things, he'd need to be watched.

Then there was Al. I was going to be keeping a special watch on him. I'd had plenty of opportunity to observe the effect the leaping was having on Al, and his obsessive devotion to Sam wasn't news. What was going to be interesting was to see what effect Sam's being back home would have. How Al would deal with all the changes, not the least of which was Sam not needing him in such a desperate way any longer. In many ways his life had become Sam for a time.

Yes, they'd both need a close eye kept on them.

 

 **SAM** :

 

Al was drunk. That was okay, he deserved it more than anyone. How a pervert gets promoted to an angel, I'll never know...but then, he went from a juvenile delinquent to an admiral, so I guess it's not so surprising after all. I was just pleasantly buzzed. I felt too good to get drunk, if that makes any sense. I only really drink when I'm upset and want to forget. All was right with the world as far as I was concerned. Yeah, I know, it was going to be a rough road ahead, as Verbena seemed obsessed with reminding me at every chance. Then I looked at Al, and all I could feel was happy. With him beside me, I could beat any odds.

 

 **AL** :

 

We'd just finished leading a lavish rendition of Earth Angel, when I glanced over in the corner to see those eyes watching me. "Beeks is staring at me again," I complained to Sam.

"It's your paranoid imagination, Al," he replied in his favorite wise-ass tone.

"She's supposed to be staring at _you_!" I insisted.

"You can't even see straight, how can you possibly tell?"

"I can sense it." Okay, so it's true, I couldn't see straight. I was taking full advantage of the fact that I knew Sam wouldn't say anything about my over-indulgence tonight. I was paying homage to the future, celebrating the end of being stuck in the past.

For both of us.

Soon, I felt Sam at my side again. "Ready to call it a night?"

I peered around at the emptying room. The party was breaking up. "It's a night."

"C'mon Al, you're in no condition to drive. I'll take you home."

"Good idea," a voice piped up. Beeks was beside us.

"Some people," I stared at her purposefully, "have absolutely no idea of fun."

Then I remembered that Tina was away visiting her mother again. She'd been having some health problems in the last few years and the visits were becoming more frequent. Tina had remarked when she called earlier that she wouldn't feel guilty staying away longer than planned, now that Sam was home. Told me to give him her love.

I still hadn't given him mine.

"You're right. It's definitely time to go home," I said. They both stared at me.

"Quick, before he changes his mind!" Verbena exclaimed.

Sam grabbed my arm. "Make sure the others go home and get some rest too, Doc. We still have a lot of work ahead of us."

"Done."

 

XXX

 

I was drunker than I'd thought, but a good chunk of it was just plain drunk on relief. Still, I felt my shoes and socks being removed, then, nothing more...

I woke up in the darkened room, taking a minute to orient myself. It was only two hours later, but I felt much more clear-headed. A dark shape at the window caught my attention. Sam was standing there looking out, dressed only in his jeans.

I slipped out of bed and went over to him, putting my hand on his shoulder. It was warm, and alive. Still a marvel to me after being a hologram for so long. "You okay?" I asked softly, rubbing my hand down his back.

Sam sighed. "Sure. Just taking the luxury of being able to do nothing but think, about anything I want. Daydream."

"Sorry I conked out on you."

"Don't be."

We looked at each other, and I could tell we were gonna be nervous together. I wished we'd make it on the couch in the office after all, although we'd probably still be feeling awkward right now.

"Al," Sam looked away a moment, then back at me. "I...I've forced you into a lot over the years..."

I could read his train of thought perfectly. "And you think this is one of them?"

"I don't know." He was looking at me in that way he does when he needs reassurance.

I figured if we were gonna go through with this--and we both wanted, needed to--it was time to get in touch with my own feelings on the matter. So I looked into this eyes and attempted to define it. The elusive puzzle piece that would explain why he turns me to mush so easily. All the love that had built up over time without being allowed expression, welled up. If the look in my eyes didn't reassure him, I didn't know what would. "Look at me. You're all I have that means anything in my life. The only one who believed I was worth it, though for the life of me I can't figure out--"

"Al!" Sam interrupted me. "You exasperate me. You know what that means?!"

I was properly chastened, and very lost in his smile. "I think so. C'mere." I took his face in my hands and brought our lips together. The first kiss was gentle and loving, but too brief.

"I love you," one of us said, but don't ask me which one.

I was locked in a passionate embrace and giving back as good as I got before I knew what hit me. I've been with more women than Hugh Hefner and Gene Simmons put together, plenty of them pretty wild, but I've never experienced anything like Sam's intensity. And it had nothing to do with the difference in gender, I have a feeling I'd be hard pressed to find another guy who gives his whole being into it the way Sam does. Right from the start, you know you're lost. All those women, all those years, and I was about to find out what making love really was.

I had to show Sam it was really okay, so he'd relax completely. So I reached for the front of his jeans, unzipping them.

"Al..." he breathed into my ear.

"It's okay, I promise. You n' me." Another kiss smothered the rest of my words, as he crushed me to him. I didn't want any feelings of strangeness to intrude here, so I blanked my mind of all but my desire to make this person I love feel good, lost myself in that love. It wasn't going to be hard to do, judging by the way he'd already taken possession of my mind. I took the plunge, so to speak. Reached inside his pants and massaged. He moaned and pushed against me.

All I cared about then was getting us both undressed and into bed. He obviously had the same ideas, because he grabbed my hand and pulled me to the bed, while trying to remove my shirt. I shrugged the rest of the way out of it, and with one push, had his jeans down around his knees. In the next moment the world did a flip-flop, and I found myself being thrown down on the bed. Instinct was definitely taking over. Despite his talent for being overwhelming, I didn't feel the least bit overpowered. It's just his intensity, nothing to do with dominance. I relaxed into it, and let his hungry hands roam my body. Both completely undressed, we moved against each other greedily. It must bear a resemblance to quantum leaping, because time ceased to exist. It wasn't going to take long though, too much kept inside too long...

 

XXX

 

Words rarely fail me, but all I could do was hold Sam while our breathing returned to normal. I could feel his body still trembling with reaction. A wave of tenderness washed over me, and I smoothed the hair back from his forehead, leaving a kiss there in its place. He had himself wrapped around me tightly, and to tell you the truth, I never wanted to let him go.

He looked up at me. "Do you have any idea how long it's been since anybody has made love to Sam Beckett?"

"Of course," I couldn't resist grabbing a kiss before continuing. "It was about seven months before you stepped into the Accelerator, you had that brief crush on the girl who used to deliver our lunches."

"And what makes you think I made love to her? I don't kiss and tell."

I winked at him. "She told me."

A sudden frown marred his features. "Al..." he began hesitantly. "Are we..."

"Yes. We. Always."

Sam smiled at my words, but the look still lingered.

I pulled him closer, speaking quietly in the darkness. "I'll have a long talk with Tina as soon as she gets back, this is something I don't want to do over the phone. I know I have a lousy track record with romance, but you've always trusted me before. I'm asking you to trust me now."

"I do," he vowed, a guilty look now forming. "I just...don't want to...change you."

"Like the song says, the times they are a changin'. But right now isn't the time for worrying about tomorrow. Now is for enjoying today."

"One day at a time, huh?"

And suddenly I knew, this wasn't going to work with him. That's how he'd been living for years. Now he needed security. Permanence. The big C. Could I give those things to him? I had to answer the question honestly for myself, before making promises.

I thought over our long friendship. Security, permanence, commitment. It wasn't so hard. Hell, we'd already given each other those things, for years. Nothing had changed, except for some new, interesting fringe benefits...

The answer was obvious.

"Yes, Sam. We'll take it one day at a time, together, for the rest of our lives."

 

**the end**

2/12/94

 

 


End file.
